The upward climb

I know, I know. 32 is technically NOT over the hill. Lately, though, I’ve become increasingly aware of how old I am. Or how old I feel, maybe.

It’s not all bad. For the most part, actually, I’m grateful to be who I am today versus who I was 15, 20, or even 30 years ago. However, there are a few negatives. As my boss pointed out the other day when taking her family Christmas pictures, when you get past 30, things start to go downhill. Even if no one else notices, YOU notice. Double chin-ness. Certain body parts just not quite as perky as they once were. Tiny wrinkles around the corners of the eyes. You know what I’m talking about!

Laughing at myself and at things that are not 100% pleasant often makes my life a little better, so I thought I’d share some of the signs that I’m over the hill–or at least climbing up it.

  1. My stance on leggings. Yes, leggings. I’m adamantly against leggings worn by any female who is not pre-pubescent. They look more appropriate if worn beneath an actual dress rather than a shirt, but still, come on. Who wants to see our crotches or our butt cracks perfectly outlined in a pair of leggings? Well, obviously there are some who want to see… but I don’t really want to show all my business to the world. Once you have hips, you shouldn’t be wearing leggings unless it’s as a joke, for working out, or for cleaning the house. Period.
  2. Constantly saying things like, “Oh! I taught her gymnastics when she was 5.” And now she’s 20. Or seeing marriage and birth announcements of children you taught in school or babysat. These moments have been increasing at an alarming rate. I cannot even stop myself from verbalizing how old I am by commenting on these things to people around me. Dear Lord…
  3. The realization that your ovaries have just a few good years left. Seriously. Statistically speaking, having a baby over 35 carries with it lots of increased health risks for both baby and mother. Can it be done and nothing go wrong? Absolutely. But yikes. I wouldn’t say that “my clock is ticking” in an emotional sense, but I’ve definitely become aware that I have to poop or get off the pot… so to speak.
  4. The discovery of gray hair. For years, I’ve dyed my hair because my hairstylist recommended it so that it’d be easier to fix since I have super thin, fine hair. It does damage it, and it makes it feel and look fuller. But a few months ago, James discovered a lone gray hair. So I’ve transitioned from “because I like it” to “because I am not ready to have gray hair (not even one!).”
  5. The consistent preference to stay home rather than go out. I’ve always been slightly introverted, so this is nothing totally new. But I find that I really have no desire most of the time to go to parties or functions involving a lot of shallow socializing opportunities. Don’t get me wrong–I love seeing my good friends and spending time with them. But going out for the sake of going out is just something I am way over.
  6. Body parts just don’t heal as quickly as they used to. I did a backbend a few weeks ago, and for two weeks, my lower back was killing me. Sure, I’m not in perfect shape, but I didn’t think it was THAT bad :). About a year and a half ago, I tore my quad running to second base in kickball, beer in hand the entire time. And it took two months to heal.
  7. Books over television. Most of the time, I’d rather read than watch–whether it be books, magazines, or newspapers. This hasn’t always been the case. I prefer quiet to noise at about a 8:1 ratio.
  8. Grumpiness toward other people’s children. I find myself less entertained and amused by the shenanigans of unruly or rude children and more and more irritated by them. You know the old saying, “Hey kids, get off my lawn?” Well, that’s pretty much me these days.
  9. The preference of comfort over fashion. I constantly find myself dressing for work and choosing a baggy sweater rather than a form-fitting one. I’ve never been super trendy or indiscreet in the way I dress, but I have definitely lost the desire to show off my body or care what people think about how cute I am. I know I’m attractive. It doesn’t matter if you agree :).
  10. Last but not least, I’m more focused on what matters and less focused on what doesn’t. I find that I’m more easy-going than I used to be because I am learning that when I ask myself, “how important is it?” I am choosing to answer honestly. It’s just not that important. And I can let it go. I want to spend my time wisely–thinking, learning, praying, loving, enjoying life. I don’t want to waste any more of it worrying or daydreaming about things I can’t change or control. I just want to live life right now. And it’s taken me 32 years to get to this point.

I guess it was worth the climb after all.

6 thoughts on “The upward climb

  1. Henry Petty (@HenryBlazer) says:

    I really did enjoy this and it hit home, as we are the same age. I”ll be 33 in February, and wow am I sweating the bulletts. We’ve talked about this before, but I do realize i’m not bulletproof anymore. I’m doing my best to love the moment, not long for what I don’t have, and love what I current have and be happy. It’s hard, but i’m dealing with it.

    There’s a kid i used to babysit for and change his diapers who FRIENDED me on facebook the other day. Wow, just wow.

    Totally agree with you and love your attitude. Those dang whippersnappers need to keep it down.

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    1. bethany says:

      🙂 I agree, Henry.
      Really, I don’t mind getting older for the most part–I sort of embrace it instead of flipping out. But we’re all vain to some degree, if we’re honest, and I definitely have my moments.
      Hope we both have a great 2012!

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  2. Brenda says:

    I’m almost old enough to be your grandmother, but I’m not sure I’m over the hill yet. It is surely easier to roll than climb. I think I’m still climbing.

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